One birthday fundraiser, rendered four times across the history of the web. The same man turns seventy in each; only the design taste changes. Please do not touch the GeoCities.
John D. Satti · 70th Birthday · Aug 21, 2026
Hand-typed in Notepad at 2 a.m. and immediately "under construction" forever. Features a hit counter, a guestbook, and at least three fonts that should never meet. Best viewed in Netscape, squinting.
The beige-and-blue look of every town hall, library, and rotary club that just discovered the internet. Built entirely from tables. Radiates trust, gold seals, and "last updated 05/30/2026." Best viewed at 1024×768.
The year the web discovered whitespace, serif fonts, and the phrase "less is more." Warm, tasteful, magazine-grade. Looks like it should come with a tote bag and a newsletter you'll never unsubscribe from.
Dark, minimal, and vaguely expensive — the kind of site that makes a 70th birthday look like a members-only club you can't afford to join. Has "tiers." Has a "journal." Absolutely has a foghorn opinion about typography.